Tumbling Down by Laura Wetzler

Laura Wetzler is a touring singer-songwriter-guitarist who also writes poetry, essays, theater monologues, and reviews. She has released 5 CDs (laurawetzler.com & iTunes) and her work has been published in The Daily Hampshire Gazette, Jewish Currents Magazine, and SingOut! Laura is a Straw Dog member and lives up in the hills in Cummington, Ma. 

Tumbling Down

Pain in my back and hip
glute mede vise grip tight
SI joint inflamed by too much to carry
heavy with extra belly weight
overwhelmed by the slightest thing
by the small things on my table

Eyesight focused on close screens, not far futures
newly near sighted and confused by the outdoors
progressive lenses but
stumbling depth perception

I feel like I am tumbling down
Decompensating. I was doing so well for so long

Grief attaches to long lost pets
gone friends
gone routines
A sunny, lovely day, a bird watch car caravan with friends
no hugs, no shared food, no bathrooms
a happy day closes in tears
Things appear the same but something has broken
Something is seriously wrong

I was doing so well but pain in the body affects and reflects the mind
Can I talk my hip into unclenching?
Can I heating pad her into the belief that we are ok
that a hip is not a fist, and she can relax open
so we can grab a hike again?

Because the tulips are blooming in succession
50 planted every year.
Orange stripes, yellows, reds
Early tops bitten off by the storm
petals gone
but tall stalks are still strong
There is the toss of blue violets peppering the yard and
The robin sits resolute on her nest above the garage light
The first goslings are on the pond next door and
This year’s calves are finally let out to graze

Reorder the mind
Reorganize thoughts
Restructure, redirect, refocus
Look away from the losses into the splashes of color
Key into the zzzzs of the bees
The insistent call of the phoebe
The flute of the wood thrush
Follow your senses